Disappointment on a stick

“It hits us straight in the heart with a blade of disconcert and frustration.”

It is well known that life for the most of us is far away from the ideal we hold in our minds. Many people still dream with those achievements that keep them from that missing happiness (a better job, love, a lottery prize, losing weight or catching all pokemons are the most typical ones); some of them even work to get those life-changing achievements. In the other hand, there are other people that simply had admitted that their lives suck, and they’re (more or less) cool with that.

But everyone (regardless of this acceptance or not of the discomforts of our lives) wants as much relief as possible. This can come in many forms, from small details to huge spendings, and the companies know that. I don’t think I’m telling anyone anything new. In fact we´ve built a whole system around that idea, yes, it’s called Capitalism.

In this pursuit of relief, this neverending search of ephemeral joy that the system has concived for us, we have lost ourselves, we have forgotten who we are, and what were our motivations in the first place. We have become a mass of pleasure-seekers without any individual identity, and that’s probably what Capitalism expects from us.

It’s not surprising that most of our entertainement is created based on this idea of relief search. But there are some exceptions. However, some authors look in the opposite direction, they could make something enjoyable, something to make you happier for a brief moment as most people do. But they choose to make something difficult to digest, something challeging, something that can be even unpleasant. Good examples of that are Martin Vaughn-James’s seminal graphic novel “The Cage” (1975) and Ben Frost’s terryfing album “By the Throat” (2009). Why would someone want to do that? and specially, why would someone like to face something that would make he or she uncomfortable? because that would make us experience emotions and feelings we´re not used to, and utterly, they would help us to think in a different way and know ourselves a little bit better.

At this point you may be thinking “omg wtf u talkin about? lol”. Well, that was a necesary introduccion to the review itself. As you can imagine, this gif it’s just another (good) example of something that defies all our standards. In fact, what can be better to stand against Capitalism than the most popular Russian videogame of all times? Isn’t it delicious?

It’s time to pose the main question: Why this gif is so annoying? why does it disturb us so much?. Just because we have an inner sense of order. That’s part of our greek-latin heritage. We just can’t deal with a crooked picture, when we see one like that we immediately have to set it right. Likewise, the way the piece is moved in the very last second just to fail miserably it’s even painful for us. It hits us straight in the heart with a blade of disconcert and frustration. We’ve been watching for a good while, everything looks so obvious and safe, we think we know exactly what’s going to happen, and it will be so pleasant… and then everything is suddenly fucked in the most stupid way.

That’s the kind of experience that takes our minds to completely new and unexplored places, those ones that help us to look inside us and discover little corners of ourselves we didn’t really know. Sometimes it’s worthy to live these utterly horrible situations because we’ll learn something about who we really are, and we never know ourselves good enough.

Utility: 3/5

Fun: 0/5

Awesomeness: 5/5

Absurdity: 3/5

Overall: Void

The Wolf OMG

“I pick this one because it express something in a better way than any other gesture ever.”

Yeeeeeeeah it’s been a while since my last review. I was both too busy and too lazy to update the blog, and the worst thing it’s I wrote this review like… ten months ago? I don’t even know. I didn’t posted it when Leo won the Oscar. Shame on me, shame on me.

Anyway here is the lost review, hopefuly I’ll start writing again (I can´t promise anything).

The first two hours (it’s kind of crazy to speak about “the first two hours” of a movie) of Martin Scorsese’s last movie (is still the last one? I wrote this ages ago) are just frenetic , in that time there is no space for even breathing, they are two hours of non-stop hilarious and mad situations with a Leonardo Di Caprio at his best (and that’s really good). The last one hour is still quite interesting, but it’s the first part when we find tons and tons of moments that were born to be gifs, without thinking it too much I can say four or five, and that’s pretty awesome for a movie (you know you are watching a good movie when you can take a few gifs from it).

I pick this one because it express something in a better way than any other gesture ever. If you are talking about how hot is a woman/man, there is no better way to show it. For me, it has become the official expression of “omg she/he is so hot”. I’ve even seen people imitating this gesture in real life (I know REAL LIFE).

Of course it can’t only be applied to people, we can use it when we’re talking about anything that really looks GREAT, something that we really want, or we are excited about, this gif will show how amazing you think that thing is, or how badly you want it. It can be easily applied to movies/videogames trailers or things like that (exactly, I was thinking in those kind of things all the time while I was writting the review, was it too obvious?).

Utility: 3/5

Fun: 2/5

Awesomeness: 2/5

Absurdity: 1/5

Overall: 50$

EDIT: I just realised tomorrow it’s going to be A YEAR since I opened this blog. Considering the amount of reviews written I guess it’s not something to be proud of.

The Confused Travolta Series

Well, I know that this should be published like a week ago, and, talking about the internet, a week is like a hell of time, yes, I know I’m FUCKING LATE, this post can even be considered a “remember” post, I know it and I’m sorry for that ok?, but my laptop didn’t work at all and hasn’t been until now that I got it fixed. That’s what happens with technology: it always leaves you alone when you need it the most.

But better late than never right? so here I am, ready to talk about the wonderful wage of gifs/memes of John Travolta as Vincent in Pulp Fiction.

First of all, lets see a gif of the original scene:

You probably remember it, Pulp Fiction has become a cult film that almost everyone has seen (it’s one of my favorite movies, if not my favorite), so there’s a little to explain here, Vincent Vega arrives to Marcelus Wallace’s to make sure his wife (Mia Wallace, played by Uma Thurman) enjoys a night out in his absence. I could tak A LOT of how much I love this movie and why, but there is no room for that now, today we have to focus on the gifs.

The first one of this HUGE wage I saw was one in which Travolta couldn’t find any seat in a full bus. “That’s pretty funny” I thought. Indeed, the confused Vincent really worked well, but I had no idea of what was coming.

Along the following days, I understood what was going on, every day I saw like 3 or 4 new ones, and that was even when I didn’t have a computer! just watching what my contacts shared on facebook, I can’t imagine how was out there. Anyway, it was (and is) just awesome, is unbeliable in how many situations he can be placed, and all of them are hilarious! It’s impossible to leave here all the gifs I’ve seen (not even talk about all the gifs that actually EXIST) so I’m just gonna show my personal favorites, but I invite you to look for yourself yours (if someone is actually reading this, you can even post them here!). I hope you enjoy them as much as me.

Aaaaaand the two best ones (I can`t decide, it’s like choosing between mum and dad)

(Did I say that I love Jurassic Park?)

Utility: 1/5

Fun: 5/5

Awesomeness: 5/5

Absurdity: 3/5

Overall: Royal with cheese

Portal Kid

“It’s an example of a work perfectly executed, everything is in its right place at the right time”

Well, until this moment all the GIFs I talked about were practical ones, GIFs you can use in your day-to-day life, that’s in fact, the utter purpose of this blog: giving you great GIFs to use so you can be the funniest, greatest guy in your favorite social network.

But let me talk this time about another kind of GIF, because not everything has to have a practic use, our lifes would be too grey like that, sometimes we need just enjoy the beautiful things that this world offers to us without asking “what is this for?”, in other words, we need to learn to enjoy the art just because is art.

So here we are, with this little piece of art. Probably inspired in the popular videogame “Portal” (or maybe not, I was just guessing) it’s an example of a work perfectly executed, everything is in its right place at the right time, it just flows looking absolutely natural. That’s the kind of GIF you watch again again along a couple of minutes, hypnotized by the amazing performance that is in front of you, trying to understand the magnificence your screen is showing. Delightful.

Utility: 0/5

Fun: 2/5

Awesomeness: 5/5

Absurdity: 2/5

Overall: An interdimensional ball

Magicman Eat It

” It’s really effective after posting the link of wikipedia that proves you were right in the argument all the time”

Any AdventureTime fan in the room? no? SHAME ON YOU! AdventureTime is probably the best cartoon that has ever existed, well, at least it is for me. If you have lived the last few years in a cave and never heard about that let me give you a brief resume: a kid and his dog fight the evil in the land of Ooo. Yeah I know how it sounds like, just another cartoon for kids, and yes if you have googled some images of it, it looks just like another cartoon for kids, but the truth is completely different. This cartoon is filled with the randomest, craziest and most bizarre characters and situations, and you never know what it’s going to happen, because it can happen ANYTHING!. Have you ever seen Spongebob Squarepants? well, it’s kind of Spongebob on acid.

It was just a matter of (a little) time that I’ll bring you a gif from AdvTime, and here it is the first one (be sure more will come). In this gif we can see how “Magicman” writes in the sky an explicit “EAT IT”. Magicman is probably one of the most annoying characters I’ve ever seen, this guy is there basically to piss off everybody, a jerk, a true troll. He’s that kind of asshole that first screws your day and then says “EAT IT”, isn’t he adorable?.

As this gif is quite explicit, I don’t really think is necesary to explain when you can use it, but anyway, it’s really effective after posting the link of wikipedia that proves you were right in the argument all the time. Maybe you lose a friend or two with this gif, but believe me, it’d be totally worth it (probably those friends were assholes).

Utility: 3/5

Fun: 4/5

Awesomeness: 3/5

Absurdity: 2/5

Overall: three stars and one marshmallow

Timon Nope

“You can use it to say “fuck off” without pissing off anyone”

One of these little pleasures that makes the life worth living is to say “no”. We all felt at some point the truly satisfaction that only negation offers. Yes, sometimes it’s difficult, we live in a society that is constantly telling us we have to be nice, polite, agreed with everything and everybody, and it’s exhausting. Maybe that’s why is so pleasant to just say “no”.

But there is a problem about that, as I said before we are supposed to agreed with everything all the time, because nobody likes an asshole that is always complaining and disagreed, ugh, can you imagine?.

So, we have to find a way to say NO that doesn’t really bother people. Of course I’m talking about a gif, but I can’t be ANY gif, we are treating a sensitve issue for godsake. In that case the choice of a Disney moment looks like a good option, Disney movies are always friendly, full of lovely characters and guaranteeing fun to all ages. Maybe you don’t have a favorite Disney movie, but also you probably don’t hate them, so why not?.

That makes this gif another useful one, you can use it to say “fuck off” without pissing off anyone, people will be like “aaaaaaw Timon is so cute” and nothing would happen, that’s the magic of this gif. I highly recommend to have it ready to be posted.

Utility: 5/5

Fun: 2/5

Awesomeness: 2/5

Absurdity: 0/5

Overall: two coconuts

Malcom Smiles

“Simple, effective, a classic”

I loved dinosaurs since I was a kid, a little kid, so for me, as for so many other kids, the release of Jurassic Park was such a huge event, even when I was too young to watch it on the cinema. 22 years after that I still love dinosaurs, and I’m not the only one (proof of that is the great box office success of Jurassic World) and Jurassic Park still keeps its status of “best dinosaur movie of all times”.

And who’s the most beloved non-dinosaur character of Jurassic Park? yes, Ian Malcom, the funny guy that had no fucking idea about dinosaurs and was there for no real reason. But he really had a few of good moments, and was so charismatic, that we can forgive him for not having a fucking idea about dinosaurs.

In this gif we can see him just smiling of pure amazement when he saw a living dinosaur for first time, is simple, effective, a classic, just a cool guy watching a dinosaur for first time in his life. Do you think you can have such a sexy smile in that situacion? no, you wouldn’t, you’d freak your shit out, as I’d do. That’s the difference between us and Ian Malcom.

This gif is absolutely handy and useful, probably one the gifs I use the most, works well both as ironicaly and non-ironicaly way of expression. You can use it as an answer to something funny, surprising or even bizarre. Yeah, this is one of my favorite gifs.

Utility: 5/5

Fun: 3/5

Awesomeness: 4/5

Absurdity: 1/5

Overall: a dinosaur biscuit

Hello everyone!

Internet is great, yeah, I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking that start a blog with such an obvious statement is not a big deal. Well, it may not be a big deal, but it’s something to think about. Internet was the last big information and comunication revolution, it changed the way we contact people, the way we get the news, the way the word is spread, everything is now much faster and more accessible. That’s what everyone would tell you about the impact that internet had in our lives, but that’s not the key thing about the internet. The true revolution came with the jokes, now any joke that cames to our minds can be shared with thousands or even millions of people in a matter of seconds with just a few clicks, and that’s pretty awesome, because that encourage people to do some things that previously can only be shared with their groups of friends, and they often didn’t worth the effort required, but what if instead of 4 or 5 friends that would be seen by thousand of unknow people? well, that’s a different story.

So thanks to the internet we discoverd how dumb we are (and that’s quite, quite dumb). Our stupitness has come in many forms, such as the memes, the usual youtube videos, or lately, the vines. But my favorite has always been the gifs. I don’t really know why, but there are not many things that are funnier for me than a good gif. So I created this blog as an ode to the gifs, this little animated images that so many times made me laugh, a place to share with you the funniest and more useful gifs I could find.

Welcome to Animated Emotions.